What –No Black Lace Garters

What no black lace?

My wife recently bought new sheets. We had stretched the corner pockets of the old ones so often that they tore. These new ones should be a welcome relief; they had deep corner pockets that would accommodate a mattress up to 17 inches (where would you ever get a mattress that deep or thick)?

We put the sheet on and tried to figure out what to do with the corners. The sides were tucked under as far as we could reach, there was excess on all four sides. My wife kept stuffing the sheet under the mattress. She was determined to make it work.

Every morning the sheet was pulled out around the edges and had to be stuffed back under. This became more of a hassle than trying to stretch the corners on the old sheet.

My wife, Jackie went back to the store to find another solution. She returned with some elastic straps with fasteners on the ends. They looked very familiar:

Mattress Garters?

The struggle to adorn our mattress with its new devices was somewhat like trying to put a garter belt on a hippo. Don’t try to visualize it your mind will reject the image.


We finally managed to dress our mattress in its new lingerie and I must admit the garter belt works very well. The corners and the edges of the sheet have not tried to creep out.

You can always find a new use for something, can’t you?

What old products have you found new uses for?

7 thoughts on “What –No Black Lace Garters

  1. Bwahahahahaha! That is awesome! Never thought I would see garters for a mattress! 😀 But hey, if it works…

  2. When a screw popped out of my glasses, I used a paperclip to temporarily replace the screw. It’s the right size to go through the hole, and I just wound the excess around the arm.

  3. That is pretty funny, but hey! I’m all for whatever works! My biggest thing is stapling the bottoms of my pants. I’m short and too cheap to have every new pair of pants altered, so I staple them instead. Probably not ideal for a pair of $50 dress slacks. LOL

  4. What a perfectly clever gizmo. This seems as good a time as any to admit that I am more than a little fascinated by the idea of using neat old gadgets for modern day fix-its. I have more than one junk drawer, cigar box, wooden chest, mini-drawers with strange and interesting doo-dads, I can’t resist picking up at yard sales and church rummage sales [many of which I haven’t a clue as to what they are actually for ] with the purpose of reinventing uses for what are surely genius products. Admittedly I’ve been mega successful at collecting, but not so great at reusing. Still, I definitely feel renewed hope after seeing these mattress garters.

  5. I think putting a garter belt on a hippo would be easier than trying to get those blasted things on sheets. But if/when you do, they do work.

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