Doing “Writerly” Things

I’m back. Did you miss me? You probably thought I gave up on blogging.

With all deference to Kristen Lamb, who has taught me, “Blog several times a week”, I’m guilty and I have no excuse. I allowed myself to get ensnarled in a myriad of projects, anything but writing.

I thought that if I wasn’t going to write, I could do other “Writerly” type things.

What kind of things? Oh, you know–er–um.

  • Take out the trash
  • Buy a new battery for my Dana
  • Build a new website or
  • Improve the present site

The following item provided a push: I got an email from GoDaddy telling me that my Hosting fees were coming due. I was paying for hosting fees on both my website and my blog, and I thought

“Hey, this looks like the perfect time to eliminate my website and move it to my blog. That shouldn’t be too difficult for a techie like me.”

 

In my early days before the dawn of the PC I had worked as a programmer using Assembler language for the S360. I must have done a fairly good job as I was paid well.

 

Having said that, I sadly confess, (hides face in shame  and murmurs) “I am totally inept at WebPages”.

You ask, “Why”.

(Said in total FRUSTRATION)! “Because, I have no CONTROL!

At my age CONTROL becomes very important. My wife wants to CONTROL me; the government wants to CONTROL me. You have to fight for every last thing that YOU could possibly CONTROL, and I can’t even CONTROL where a picture is going to be placed.

I insert the cursor at the point where the picture should reside, I Insert image; it appears, filling the entire page. Oh well I can handle that. With great skill, I shrink the image to the desired size, yes that looks good.

No, I want it a little closer or farther from the text, it doesn’t matter which. The damn picture won’t move!

After throwing a minor tantrum, I realize that I have not activated text-wrap and therefore the picture is locked in position, I change the setting and move the picture to the spot where I want it. Success

 

So now I have a Word document to copy to my Blog site. I do a Copy and Paste from Word to WordPress.

Looks pretty good but where are the pictures. Oh right, I have to Insert them, No you can’t Copy and Paste them.

Okay, I find the jpegs and upload them to WordPress and then insert them into my Page/Post. The picture magically appears–but it’s not where I want it. I try moving it, nudging it, backspacing it, nothing works—-I go to edit the picture to see if I can set the location. Oh, yes there it is, Left, Center, Right.

How about 1/8 inch to the right of the text?

What do you mean I can’t do that! I used to manipulate individual Bits of a Byte, and you’re telling me I can’t do that. Programmers can do anything!

(With profuse apologies you say), “I didn’t realize that you had this extensive technical background; you can do anything you want using CSS.

What the Hell is CSS? Oh it’s another language like HTML, XML, Java, and Pearl?

Languages, what kind of languages are those? What happened to Autocoder, Assembler, Cobol, and Fortran?

You never heard of those. What’s the world coming to?

Back to your languages, I know where Java is, do they speak Javanese? What about Pearl is that short for Pearl Harbor? I thought they spoke English?

Oh, you say it’s a programming language. Well, I should be able to master that.

I bought a book, WordPress Web Design for Dummies, I looked through it, I slept on it but it wouldn’t sink in. I needed a Rosetta stone to make sense out of this.

I sent a message to my mentor Laird Sapir who suggested a marvelous website W3Schools.com with tutorials and opportunities to practice the lesson. W3Schools.com was a big help.

Armed with my new knowledge I added fonts to my blog, changed font size, changed colors…..

But I still couldn’t place those pictures exactly where I wanted them.

In desperation or frustration over my inability to CONTROL I emailed Laird who readily agreed to help me. I felt an immediate sense of relief the moment I turned the problem over to her. In a week the pages were ready for publication. Her rates were very reasonable and I was very pleased.

 

So here I am writing this blog post to announce the new pages added to my blog site Donald Bueltmann

What do you think of it? Please let me know.

I have now been able to return to my WIP a trilogy about a parallel universe.

So what’s the purpose of all this rambling…?

You have to choose your role in life. Are you a writer, a publisher, a web designer, etc? Do what you excel at and give others a chance to demonstrate their skills.

One of my other mentors Harvey Stanbrough said this on his blog “I’m a Little Annoyed”

I think I’m going to listen to Harvey and remember this last experience and stick to what I know I can do and give others a chance to show what they know.

 

 

There’s One Born Every Minute–Conclusion

There’s One Born Every Minute—Conclusion 

The purpose of this blog has been to show how serious addictions can be. I don’t think I ever heard of a 12 step program for car addicts. LOL

In my last post I said that I had to get rid of the MGA. In a very short time it would need major surgery and the government wasn’t providing insurance coverage on vehicles.  LOL

What to buy, it couldn’t be just any car, I had to make a statement. These were the days of the foreign car; there were Skodas, Maicos, Anglias, Gogomobiles, it was a veritable potpourri of imports. But these were all too common—and then I saw it:

A 1960 Hillman Minx Convertible, the colors were Moonstone (an iridescent blue with a light lavender cast), blue vinyl top, and blue vinyl upholstery. So why did this car meet my standards:

It had a 4 on-the-column shifter.

Did you ever hear of this?

The convertible top could be lowered completely or

(ready for this)—

it could be retracted so that only the front seat was open the back was covered.

How cool is that?

I kept the Hillman for about four years until my wife and I decided we needed a more suitable family car, a 1964 Chevrolet BelAir. This behemoth had a manual transmission, no power steering, no air conditioning. It was very Spartan but it had a huge trunk that would hold a 4×8 sheet of plywood.

I won’t bore you with the remaining litany of vehicles but over the next 34 years 11 new cars passed through my hands. That’s an average of 3 years per car.

In 1996 I was driving a beautiful Toyota Cressida and when it was time to trade, I was informed that Toyota had decided to stop making the Cressida.

There wasn’t enough difference between the Lexus ES300 and the Cressida (other than price) so they hoped to move drivers up to the Lexus.

I wasn’t happy about this decision, I figured there was no way I could afford a Lexus but an eager salesman showed how I could.

I’m a sucker for a salesman!

I found myself behind the wheel of a beautiful ES300.

Strangely enough I kept this car for 12 years. Buy quality and you’ll be happy.

In 2008 I was ready for a new car. Every time I took my Lexus in for an oil change they gave me a loaner car, a new ES350 (such evil people).

My wife told me that since I was going to be 70 I could buy one for my birthday. I looked at all the options, sunroof, heated and cooled leather seats, (hey, I lived in the desert), GPS, Bluetooth, Headlights that swiveled, automatic wipers, power rear window sunshade.

Do you think that was enough, no I didn’t either. I added chrome wheels.

Do you have any idea what the price tag on this boat was? I’m not going to tell you.

Was I happy now? What do you think?

Yes, for a while. But two years later I realized that the car was too big, the payments were killing me, taxes were atrocious—and—it just wasn’t fun to drive.

You won’t believe my next move. I took my beautiful Lexus and drove to the Honda dealer and bought a bright red 2010 Honda Fit Sport. This is a really fun car to drive and is very flexible. And a lot less expensive in all respects.!

 This is the end of my car chronicles, at least I hope it is; but who knows?

Tell me about your vehicle adventures.

 

There’s One Born Every Minute Part 2

So I was 20 years old and I had a new 59 Plymouth Belvedere. It was beautiful, bright shiny red, sparkling white vinyl top. Was I happy?

No         .

What did it take to make me happy?

 

 

First, it wasn’t the car I wanted, it wasn’t the beautiful bittersweet car with the 8 cylinder engine and the pushbutton transmission.

The beautiful red Belvedere with a 6 cylinder engine was  so underpowered a 49 Ford could take me leaving a stop sign.

So what?

This was very important to a 20 year old.

About this time some of my friends were buying sports cars, one had a Jaguar XK140 convertible, another had a Karman Ghia.

What did I have     ?

A crummy 6 cylinder Plymouth!

One weekend several of us went to the Road America sports car race in Elkhart Lake Wisconsin. It was an unbelievable experience Jaguar introduced a new car, the XKSS. Briggs Cunningham was testing a new Osca, and a new class of race car the Formula Junior was introduced.

I was totally intoxicated by the roar of the engines and the smell of the nitromethane.On the return trip I made up my mind to get rid of the Plymouth.

I really wanted a 1959 Austin Healy 3000 MKlll but just couldn’t make it happen. Then I saw an MGA roadster, black, red leather, wire wheels with knock off hubs, beautiful.

 

 

I had to have it.

 

They were willing to take my 59 Plymouth in even trade for the 57 MGA.

I’m sure I lost out on the deal but I didn’t care. It was mine..

I didn’t even notice that the spare had most of the spokes broken and that the tires were worn badly.

I had a lot of fun with the MG I’m surprised I didn’t get more tickets or kill myself.

I kept the MG for less than a year because the clutch needed to be replaced. This was extremely expensive.

Bye bye MGA.

I may have been a sucker, but I sure had fun.

Did any of you have a sports car that you will never forget?

Write me let me hear what kind of cars you had. I love to talk about cars.

Tagged — Eleven Questions Answered-Looking for IT

This week I was tagged in the Eleven Questions game by Elaine Smother’s fabulous friend frog, Forrest.

Being tagged means I need to follow some rules:

1. Post the rules.

2. Answer the questions.

3. Pass the questions on to eleven other bloggers by tagging and linking to them in our post.

4. Let them know they’ve been tagged.

And now…I will answer the questions.

1. If you could live in a fictional world, where would that be?

If I can’t choose to remain in Tucson or to enter Heaven, I would probably chose Tolkien’s Hobbiton or Rivendell.

2. Do you prefer to read Fiction or non-fiction?

Definitely fiction. The only non-fiction books I read are technical books on computers or writing.

3. Do you read in noisy or quiet places?

I prefer reading in quiet places. But I usually sit and read while my wife watches TV and continually says, “Look! You missed it.” I think missed what? And who cares.

4. Do reviews influence your choice of reads?

Not unless the reviews are from people I know.

5. Audio books or paperbacks?

Paperbacks, If I were in my car a lot I might listen to audio-books.  For any other activity they would require too much concentration. I bet they’d probably be great on the treadmill. Wonder if you can get them in mp3 format?

6. What was the first book you remember reading?

The first books I remember reading were the Wizard of Oz and the Doctor Doolittle series.

7. Favorite author?

Can’t pick just one: JRR Tolkien, David Gemmel, Maxwell Alexander Drake

8. Classic or Modern Novels?

Mostly modern. I prefer Fantasy novels

9. Have you ever met your favorite author?

I met Maxwell Alexander Drake at the Society of Southwestern Authors Wrangling With Writing conference in Tucson. My other favorites are deceased.

10. Book groups or solitary reading?

I belong to a writing critique group but I prefer solitary reading.

11. If you could read only one book for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I was stumped by this question and then it became so obvious, there’s only one book worth reading our whole life. The User’s Guide to Living—The Holy Bible.

And now I am supposed to tag 11 people. This might be tricky. I think almost everyone I know has already been tagged!

I’m going to violate the Rules of Eleven and just post this with an invitation to Come and Read and let us learn more about you.

Have a good weekend.

Donald Bueltmann